voices in my head

I wake up and it's raining. It has been raining since yesterday midnight The night at which we told things we never told each other When we both stood at the edge of the cliff of our fires, Vulnerable. Alarm reminds me it's an hour past midnight and I should probably get some sleep. I say rain reminds me of you. You say I scare you sometimes by telling these kinda things. I sigh. Yes. My thoughts can be a little bit scary sometimes, Deep. You send me poems written on amber papers. Poems. Words. Is that what binds us? Poems about souls, men women holding cigarettes, Me, you, us. I say I wish I could hear you read 'em You want to know why I don't know. Silence. I admit I'm a hopeless romantic. You say that may make my life painful And you're drained of love and may break hearts. I remember Augustus Waters, I say It'd be a privilege. You say sometimes you don't like who you are. I say neither do I. Maybe it's not ...

CHARLIE Sam, you ever think that if people knew how crazy you really were, no one  would ever talk to you? SAM All the time. 1:35AM I am awake. Completely awake. I want to be awake. I switch off the fan at regular intervals so I'll sweat and lose any drop of sleep incoming. I'm not lying on my bed right now. I've always liked confined spaces. I'm lying beneath it. Yes. I'm sweating but that's okay. My notebook by my side. A million thoughts rushing through my mind. It's like you just put your earphones into your pocket and 5 minutes later you take it out and it's all tangled. And you wonder what the fuck? I was just sitting there. No. Wrong metaphor. What I'm trying to say is that all these thoughts are tangled and mixed up. So I'm unable to just pick out one thought from it and write about it. It's a total mess. 2 AM You know how sometimes when we listen to a song a...

Letting go. One thing I hate about myself I have trouble letting go. Places, people, books, movies. Wherever I go Whomever I meet Whatever I read Whatever I watch I do not want them to end I want the pursuit to go on I want the road to never end Because even if it was for a scant amount of time Once that our lives had met I feel like we’d shared a piece  Of ourselves with each other. Like we were destined to meet And fate brought us together. Some lines that were written precisely for you Characters that are relatable af Places that makes you feel like they’d been waiting, For you the whole time. Call me nostalgic Corny even I’d like to believe that I am original, veracious as one could get. And maybe in another world Not so pragmatic  We would continue our journey  Forever Forever and ever. Sayonara ***

Hey you, I have to say it, Quarantine sucks big time. You've left me under your coffee table. I think there are 5 other people currently lying above me. I'm having a hard time breathing. And I can't sleep. Thanks to all this dust. Anyways, there are some things I wanted to tell you but never did. Hey you, I know I'm not made of flesh and bones, like most of your friends. But I want you to know that I care for you. And I know you care about me too. And I know that you want us to be your little secret. so you keep me underneath your bed, corner of the coffee table, wherever you feel I'm safe. Hey you, I love it when you smell me. Your eyes become wider than usual. I love it when you spread your hands through me, Very carefully. Like you're going through a baby's hair. I love the look on your eyes, right after you'd told me everything about your day. Hey you, When it's past midnight and you're suffocated by your thoughts ...

Eighth-grade midterm open house Open houses, if there's one thing I hate about schools, that's Open houses. Yes, there are no boring classes but still not being a teacher's pet I'd rarely had the honor to hear good things about myself during my past encounters. But this time, It was different. I was able to score good grades in the exams and I hadn't participated in any mischievous activities in the past months. So I was more than happy to accompany my mother to meet the class teacher. The whole scenario went upside down when she saw the most talkative kid in the class walking towards her with a lively smile. I still remember that she started the conversation by calling out to God. To quote Thanooja Mam, the best class teacher I've ever had, "Oh my god, this Ajvad. Honestly, madam, I don't know what to do with your son. He is constantly talking in the class like he doesn't give a second's rest to his mouth or the teachers or the...

Dear stranger , In over the timeline of recent four years, my heart has become a blackhole stuffed with negative thoughts. And even though I try hard, there’s nothing I can do about it.  And like every other weird and misanthropic people, I too find relief from this pain by pouring my feelings in the form of words.  So I don’t blame you for distancing yourself from me. It was surely the logical thing to do. Even though there were some similarities between us, you were so full of life and it scared me. Overdosed by overthinking, I have come to the realisation that when you go on the quest of finding the meaning of life, you’re actually forgetting to live. By finishing this note, I promise myself to disconnect from all the thoughts and dreams where you appear to be the protagonist. After all, how can you run from what’s inside you? Sending you love and care, a hopeless romantic . *play melancholy song ***

Scene 1 You're traveling back from your home to college, even though you don't want to. You’re sitting on the window seat on the bus. You’re surrounded by about 40 strangers. No one knows a thing about you. You’re alone and not alone at the same time. A cool breeze along with a light rain shower is setting the mood. As usual, the earphones are plugged in deep. Your perfectly crafted playlist is playing. It’s been a rough few weeks. You have been trying really hard to keep up a clear mind. You’re now on the outskirts of the city. And it’s raining, like a light shower. Along comes a cool breeze. It’s slowly wetting your hands. But you don’t want to close the shutter. A few drops have fallen over your eyes. It’s almost midnight, but you don’t want to close your eyes. You want to brace and feel it. You want to feel it all. Every drop of it, every wave of cool air passing by you. You want this night to never end. And you realize there’s this happiness com...