voices in my head

Mondays. On Mondays, I do not experience Monday blues like every other adult. There really isn’t much difference in my life whatever the day is.  Mondays. On Mondays, the neighbour kid wears a white shirt and blue pants, with black shoes. He pets his dog one last time before getting onto the scooter with his dad. The mother waves and sends them off. There are no cows on the road. The veg restaurant remains moderately busy. The highway underpass seems darker than usual. There’s this guy who passes by me every day infant of the police station. Every day he wears a yellow shirt with the “Bingo’ logo on it and a badge. Does he work at the factory where they make Bingos?  On Tuesdays people slowly get settled into reality. I’m still floating. I wear light green to look fresh and bright. I plug in my earphones while walking to the bus stop. Women wearing green and yellow night dresses wait outside the dairy farm to collect milk. A recently married couple comes back after their ...

  Zindagi Migzara I read this phrase in one of Khalid Hossein's books, but I don't remember which one. I think it was 'Thousand Splendid Suns'. It means life goes on. Towards the end of my college years, like most people I was getting sad about leaving the place, people, and memories. But I told myself that the idea was to not give in to nostalgia and to keep moving. Don't look back. I only write when I'm sad or when I have anxiety attacks or something. I haven't written anything over here for the past few months because, to be honest, life has been pretty good the past few months. I would be happy to say that my life peaked from October 2021 to July 2022. 3 months have passed by since college, I was sitting at home waiting for the call from the IT company, and out of nowhere, I got this core job at a good company and I was posted at the outskirts of this city.  I have always wished to move into a city where no one knew me and start fresh. Like just throw my...

  A few years back, during a hot summer day, he left the library feeling sad and mundane. He placed his black Christmas-themed bookmark back in the 'Eleanor and Park' hardcover and planned to continue reading it the next time sun and clouds aligned as perfectly as that day.       Once he crossed the roads, he thought about the curly-haired guy with an oval-shaped face in the same building. He didn't know the guy's name so he named him Simon in his scenarios. And how everyone always loved him. And how he always wore clothes with so many colors. And the only dull-colored piece of cloth he ever owned was that faded grey sweater which he only wore on days that rained like hell. And how he always chose to wore beige khaki pants with it and his white Vans. And how he always checked his watch every now and then like the world was ending one second a time and he had to make sure he was making the most out of it.  He always wanted to talk to Simon or at least maybe ...

 I nearly died this morning. I woke up on my floor instead of my bed, where I slept yesterday in my good senses. There's a circular mark on my neck. Someone tried to wind a rope around my throat. Clearly, I'm not dead yet. I think they wanted to shut me up.  I feel like a mute now. They took away my pens, Broke my pencils, Burnt my notes, Buried my journals. Thanks to the hitman fiber wire trick, I can't breathe now, Neither can I write. Where am I supposed to dump my sadness now? They were me.

 It was a pretty morning. The kind that makes you want just to go out and do things. The weather was nice. Moderately cold, adequately warm. Ah, when did I fell asleep? The 'tandoor' and 2 blankets did keep me warm though. I toddled myself trying not to step on anyone.      The view here is massively beautiful. Mighty Parvathi lined up in all directions, dressed in white. Like it's someone's funeral. Wait, an Indian funeral. Birds are performing daily sound checks. Riya and Diya are out here playing some game like 'goli'.      Didi made us chai and bread omelet. I feel like a westerner, basking in the 11AM Sun, eating bread omelet with ketchup. This is our last day here. As peaceful as it is, the expenses are also a little too much here, so we have to get down to keep the ship afloat.       The satellite phone rang twice and then stopped. Aswin Bhai lit a beedi and went to get some magic wood. I wonder why it's called magic wood. Sh...

           A leaf has fallen. A brown large yellow dry old leaf. It fell in front of my 3-year-old nephew. He went and bought an oval-shaped bath soap because the smell of it made him happy. Now his two-year-old sister also wants to hold it. I say maybe cut it? So both of you have equal halves. But then that would take the beauty out of it that is the oval shape. A man is taking his dog for a walk. It's a pug. I have always wondered why people adored pugs so much. They aren't even that cute. Maybe I should buy a pet. I could buy a fish for starters. Hmm. I have seen a kid selling goldfish on the roadside nearby. Hmm.  My 3-year-old and 2-year-old nephews went to play at the nearby house. He tells me not to take the soap because he wants to have the first bath with it. I'm sitting on the wooden swing that my father had made for them. It's positioned pretty low but it does the job. I sit there for 30 minutes.   Now, the thing about melancholy. ...

In the movie 'Being Charlie', Charlie says in the climax, "All I ever wanted was a way to kill the noise". And when Charlie from 'The perks of being a wallflower' said, "There is so much pain and I don't know how to not notice it". And when Lee Chandler from 'Manchester by the sea' said, "I can't beat it". And when Vincent from 'The road within' said, "What if I fuckin live?" Evening. Railway Station I am walking in between the platform bridge between the second and fourth platforms. My mind is going at the rate of hundred miles per hour. I can't slow it down. I need to lie down and close my eyes for a second and be at peace. But, the mosquitoes don't seem to make it any easier. I need to reach my room immediately and that is the only place I can just lay down at peace. Maybe pour all of this down to paper or something. Just dance. Just lie down, put my head under a pillow. There are still 2 hours r...