Skip to main content

Drowning.



I never thought of love as a necessity, you know. I’m talking about the romantic kind here. Like I always thought of it as a bonus thing. Suppose you have it, good. If you don’t, well you can still live. But these days, I realize you need love. It’s like how you feel all tired and grumpy if you didn’t have a good night’s sleep or a decent breakfast. And now it doesn’t necessarily have to be from your boyfriend/girlfriend. It may be from your parents, friends, or siblings. You need some kind of love to survive. And the lack of it doesn’t make you grumpy or anything. Well in my case, these days I don’t feel like a real person. You know, like I’m here, I’m going to work, having breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’m showering when I feel like it. I’m sitting in the plastic chair and watching the sun slowly turn orange to black in the span of a few minutes. Then what, the rest is a blank sheet. I feel like a soulless person. And I have all this love and words to give, but it’s just me. I feel like I’m floating barely through a river on a chilly night. One of these days I am going to let go of it. One of these days I am going to drown. Yeah, maybe if I’m lucky enough, it may cause some ripples. But, if you want me to be honest, I don’t think anyone will ever notice.


Sayonara.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dystopian times (unabridged)

I read '1984' by George Orwell a few years back. I could only read up to 70% of it for some reason. In the first chapter, the protagonist secretly writes a journal entry as a sort of protest, or a way of telling his story to future generations. Thankfully, we're not there yet, but I imagine sooner or later, we as a collective world will reach that level of dystopia. I can't help but wonder, 'Has the world always been like this, or I'm just noticing it? ' Maybe yes, but the amount of injustice and horror that has been happening around the world has definitely only increased with time. There is so much injustice, violence, and horror happening around the globe, and the fact that I was born in this godforsaken country. It's awful enough to be a citizen of this country, but being a Muslim in India is only worse. The only thing I can do is be grateful for the fact that I was born in the South.  And all of this leads to one being in a certain dilemma. Do I try...

Who will win the Ballon D'Or 2018?

There are a lot of quality players out on the field with potential of acquiring the so called best player award in the world easily known as the “THE BALLON D’OR”. Since the year 2008 this mesmerising price has been shared among two, who are known to the world as  CRISTIANO RONALDO  and  LIONEL MESSI.  Both of them are so far presented with 5 of the awards equally throughout these years. To be honest no one else other than these two has not even came close into winning the award after 2008. But this year a number of different things have happened. Lots of underdogs have proved their worth and are told to be possible winners of this Glamorous award. As the World Cup is upon us on July, it will play a major role on declaring the Ballon D’Or winner this year. With the help of various experts and from the form they are in, we have reduced a 23 possible nominees list: (not in chromatic order)           1.  Li...

The unbearable weight of consciousness.

I’ve always been pretty conscious about myself. I am not sure if that’s a good thing or not. A bit of both, I could say. Being fully aware of myself has always helped me to know what I want in certain situations, with people, etc. I know what sort of person I want to be, in general. I’m 100% certain about the vibe I want to give out to people, and I am sure that for the most part, I’ve succeeded in doing the same. But still, being super conscious most of the time has not helped me figure out what I want to do with life. This has been my life’s biggest dilemma. I used to be ambitious growing up, I guess up until end of the college. Maybe corporate did it, perhaps I did this to myself. I am the most unambitious man I know right now. Does that scare me, I don’t know. I see people around me hustling, switching techs, and companies, climbing up the ladder, making huge life decisions, and moving out of countries. I feel nothing. There is nothing I want to be.  Sometimes I feel like I pea...