voices in my head

Some days, Some days, when my mother comes to wake me up in the morning, I feel like a stranger to her. I feel like a stranger to my father sitting opposite on the breakfast table. I go out and the world feels so strange. Like everyone's been here for a long time and I kinda just arrived, a newcomer.  I feel like a stranger when I'm sitting with my friends and they're all laughing about something. But the strange thing is no one else identifies this. I'm the only one acting weird that too on the inside. I feel like a stranger when I look at myself in the mirror. What am I seeing? Do I like what I see?  These days I feel like a stranger to my life. Like, if my life was supposed to be a movie, I wouldn't be the protagonist or something. Hell, I wouldn't even be the sidekick of the hero. I wouldn't be the dumb guy always walking along with the hero.  Imagine a crowd shot, and I would be one of'em. Blend in the crowd. Out of focus. A chameleon.  And I don

Posting old snippets from notepad because no matter how bad it gets, I have to keep this ship afloat. Rather a hot day, though I sleep in for three hours more. I like days like this.  You're just sitting there and the room is ornamented golden by swift beams of sunlight. And you just feel alive thinking about the million things you wanna do or you could do. Augusts here are wet but hot. But there's always a decent amount of breeze that passes by occasionally. I stare into the fiber flower vase with fake flowers and fake leaves sitting there. It doesn't make any rustling sound. It doesn't even care to move with the occasional wind. It's like, "Hey, why do I have to be original in this fake world". I'm wearing nothing but boxers. Lying beside the window, supported by two pillows with green floral printed covers. Holding 'The Great Gatsby' paperback on one hand and a pencil, which has been with me since forever on the other hand. I remind myself o

  Holidays can be fun. I spent my holidays lying down on my bed doing nothing and thinking about everything. I think a lot. I think when I'm eating. I think when I’m walking. I think when I'm running. I think when I'm taking a shower. I think when I'm taking a pee. I think when I'm listening to music lying down alone in my bed. I think when I'm listening to music sitting on the doors of the train. I think when I’m driving. (which eventually led to me banging my face at the speed of 60kmph behind a parked Innova car. Some stitches, and dislocated bones, I think). I think when I'm being stood up by the lecturer for not doing homework. I think when people ask me, “you don’t talk much or what”. I think when my father is lecturing me about the future and how competitive the world is. I think when my brother asks me why are you so weird without actually asking it. I think when my mother asks me, “why are you so silent, you haven't talked much since you've